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DISCLAIMER: This is not a ‘manifesto’. Everyone is welcome here! And welcome to express your views. Some of you will love my work but likely most of you will hate it – the rest of you will fall somewhere in between. Love it, hate it or in between – I don’t really give a fuck. I also have no interest in changing your views, trying to convince you that you are wrong or silencing / canceling you. I just insist that I be allowed to express my views as well and if you don’t like it – well, that’s just too fucking bad (for you of course).

Thought for the Month of July, 2022: Why do some people believe it is the enslaving groups responsibility to chose not to enslave other groups? I believe it is your groups responsibility not to let other groups enslave you. If your group is collectively too weak physically and / or of character to not be able to avoid getting enslaved – then you sort of deserve to be enslaved, do you not? I mean if aliens came down in spaceships and enslaved earth, I suspect most white people would not blame the aliens for trying and would all die fighting against being enslaved (white people for the most part do not make good slaves) we would likely not just bow down and let generations of our children endure alien slavery. So is slavery really wrong or is it just one group physically dominating another as nature intended? For shits and giggles let’s assume slavery is wrong. So what? Abortion is wrong – it is definitely 100% killing a baby and that is arguably even more obviously ‘wrong’ than slavery but we currently say sometimes killing a baby is OK. So why can’t slavery be OK sometimes? How about slavery based on inappropriate / criminal behavior instead of race? Ya know, act the fool, do a few years or more as a slave instead of jail? Of course, by that standard – there would still likely be mostly black slaves.

So this is the mother fucking place to be!  The world famous BLOOP webcomic site.  This site basically contains my life’s cartooning work.

Who the fuck am I?  I am Joseph Fucking Morton, that’s who – that super awesome sex machine to the left but you can call me Joe.  Everything you need to know about me is on my FaceBook page but here’s the main shit that makes me – me: I have a BA in Philosophy, am a member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, I was in the Army, I have a Juris Doctorate (that’s a law degree), played Rugby, still play Chess, have piloted airplanes, written two books and most recently shoved a retarded whore (my nappy headed neighbor who inspired me to set my WiFi name as ‘MyNeighborsAreCunts’) the fuck off my front porch, in other words . . . “I’ve drank more beer, pissed more blood, and banged more quiff than all you numb-nuts put together.”  Looking back, me life’s been pretty damn sweet and the ride ain’t over yet.  Never heard of me?  Well then, let’s get things nice and sparkling clear – I’m an asshole a lot of the time and I really fucking love being an asshole!  For the most part, I get to say and do whatever the fuck I please and that comes out in me comic strip.  Often that is offensive to some people.  If you are offend, so what? I do not have an obligation to present my views in a way that doesn’t offend you. So if you are offended, that’s on you and go fuck yourself.  I don’t have a TV show or sports team to lose.  So for example, if I wanna say nigger or fuck or cunt, I will say nigger or fuck or cunt and if you don’t like it – simply go somewhere else and frankly that is as it ought to be – the fucking ‘Merican way!  So if your view is to be one of those faggy little cunts that demands I conform to your fucking sense of how shit oughta work – you are entitled to that view but of course I have no obligation to conform to it just as you have no obligation to conform to my views.   No one is gonna dictate to me what I can and can’t say.  So now that is outta the way – let the offending continue . . .

So why do I do this? I mostly do it as a hobby and for my own amusement. If you get something out of it, that’s great but mostly the only reason I’d care if you get something out of it is for the popularity and potential money that a bunch of you getting something out of it might generate. Also, people tell me doing this is a better option than what I’d really like to be doing which is permanently exiting most of you from fucking existence. So believe me when I say, you really want me doing this instead.

How the fuck does someone like me happen? I blame comics (not really – I know it is my choice but blaming comics seems funnier). Ah, comic strips!  Ya gotta love ’em.  And if you don’t – you’re a fucking cunt.  One of the things I always wanted be was was a cartoonist.  Thankfully there is no certification or licensure process to go through so all I really have to do to be a cartoonist is simply call myself that – and ‘poof’, I’m a mother fucking cartoonist. Yay, for me! When I was a wee lad around 8 or 9, I drew a comic strip called ‘Jail Fox’.  He was a fox who was in jail.  I guess I thought it was a funny play on the term ‘jail bird’.  I used a regular #2 pencil and some blank newsprint style paper.  The kind movers use to wrap your shit in so it may have a better shot at not fucking breaking – ya, know 70’s style, before that fucking plastic bubble shit that retards like to pop was invented.  I drew boxes and word balloons – real professional shit.  I can’t remember if I inked the strip or not.  If I did, I’m sure the most sophisticated I got was to use a felt tip marker.  None of those strips survived but of late, I seem to think of them more and more.   It would be about 5 or 6 years later before the cartooning bug bit again – along about the time I was 15.  Cartooning would end up being a persistent itch my whole life.  So here’s the thing – after 40 years of dabbling with my comic strip this is what I know – for a comic strip to be good, you have to have three things.  Good art, good writing and be a little bit crazy or at least ‘off’.  If you are some square mother fucker – you produce shit like Garfield.  I believe there was a time when Jim Davis was pure to his craft but ‘glittering prizes and endless compromises’ have turn his strip to complete shit. Fucker doesn’t even draw anymore just selects from thousands of pre-drawn Garfield’s and moves them into a panel  You gotta Van Gogh that crazy shit.  The crazy is either something you have or something you don’t – the other two things, good art and good writing, you can develop as with any skill.  These two things can be a bit disproportionate.  For example, your art can suck a bit and your strip still be good if you have awesome writing to make up for it – think Dilbert or The Far Side by Gary Larson.  Or you can have fucking awesome art and your writing be a bit weak and still have a good strip – think Bloom County by Berke Breathed or Liberty Meadows by Frank Cho – often not that funny but really great art..  Awesome art and awesome writing – now that’s makes a great strip – think Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson.  Larson, Breathed and Watterson, those three were my rock stars growing up in the 80’s – now for various and differing reasons, I see them as just sad old bastards.  But I digress, so you have to at least hit that minimum magic proportion of good enough art and good enough writing and just enough crazy or your strip will suck.  My strip sucks.  Oh, I gots crazy in spades and meh, the arts OK sometimes even slightly good.  The writings OK but definitely weaker even than my art.  At my very best – my strip is still mediocre if I’m am being generous.  In the end, I mostly draw to amuse myself but I do still have that tiny speck of vision left of that gloriously greedy glimmer of cartoon fame and fortune.  So I press on – what the fuck else am I gonna do except become a serial killer?  Anyhoo, now you too can bask in a bit of the glory that is me by checking out my shit and letting it infect your brain. 

So what’s on this fucking site? This site contains 3 main comic strip projects.  BLOOP, Loose Screws and Raw Law.  There will be commentary, stories and likely other naughty bits. I have also included my two books: A Tome of ‘Toons and Irreverent ‘Toon Tales and The LURCH Letters, a collection of snail mail correspondence with one of me old droogs.

BLOOP: The main comic strip features Bloop, a cartoon character I created in the early eighties while I was still in high school and have drawn in traditional comic strip form on and off ever since.  Bloop is broken up into 2 collections.  The first being my very earliest work from high school in the early eighties thru college in the early nineties, this will be under the menu heading Tome of ‘Toons (the title of my first book).  Yeah, I did a book.  So what?  No big deal, made like $500 bucks and had about 300 leftover copies – you can still get one on Amazon if you want they are selling my shit without my permission for a measly $4 bucks a pop.  I gets no fucking royalties.   Then second, pretty much everything from the late nineties to the present, this will be under the menu heading BLOOP.

LOOSE SCREWS: Sometime in the early nineties during college I experimented with a single panel format similar to Gary Larson’s The Far Side.  Mine was called Loose Screws.  I only did a handful of them.  Ironically, it was harder to do a single panel gag comic than it was to do an entire comic strip – so naturally I dropped that project and continued with the path of least resistance.  But you can check out my efforts under the menu title LOOSE SCREWS.

RAW LAW: Also sometime in the early to mid nineties while I was attending law school – yeah, I went to law school – big whoop!  Anyhoo, in between frantically cramming for exams, binge drinking and trying to score hole, I managed to create a new strip based on my Bloop characters called Raw Law.  I only did a handful of those too and that project ended when law school did.  Check it out under the menu heading RAW LAW.

A TOME ‘O TOONS: My first book which collects early BLOOP strips from high school in the mid-eighties thru college in the early nineties.

IRREVERENT ‘TOON TALES: My latest book.

The LURCH LETTERS: A collection of hand written correspondence (letters) from me old droog Markster. Somewhat amusing but my letters to him were better.

These collections are organized in the menu bar, so feel free to have at it.  Oh, by the way gimme some fucking money!  Beer ain’t often fucking free ya cheap bastards! You can pay that shit with the donation button to the right.

PAST THOUGHTS OF THE MONTH

Thought for the Month of December, 2021: So I am way behind on me ‘though of the month’ – so Merry fucking Christmas is all ya gets..

Thought for the Month of November, 2021: Be nice – until it is time to not be nice. The Golden Rule is a complete load of bullshit. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Who is the twinkle-toed, communist, cock sucker that though up that crap? Well what if you like being treated like shit? Does the Golden Rule then give you license to treat others like shit? Fuck that stupid illogical bullshit. Here’s a much better rule to follow – if you are into that sort of thing. I call it Joe’s Rule and that is to treat others as they treat you. Makes way more sense to me. BTW I got banned from FaceBook again. I think I was banned more this past year than I was active – looking forward to Trump’s TruthSocial.com

Thought for the Month of October, 2021: Some niggers, perhaps even a lot of niggers, like to claim white people are afraid of them. And that may be true for the pussies that don’t pack the gear to deserve to be white but for those of us descendant from white people who could easily handle 10 or 12 field niggers by themself – we aren’t afraid of niggers. What we are afraid of is becoming the new niggers. I much prefer my current status as the dominant race – not better or overall superior mind you but rather dominant. Which brings me to another topic. It seems the ‘critical race theory’ cunts believe white people today should feel ashamed at what our white ancestors did hundreds of years ago or heck, even 50 years ago or yesterday. I disagree. Why would I be ashamed that my ancestors dominated and made life easier for me? Seems to me if anyone should be ashamed, it is the niggers for being too weak (or stupid as the case may be) to free themselves from slavery for 400 plus years. I mean, should the lion cub feel ashamed that the lion killed a gazelle for the lion cub to eat. Of course, not. Nor do I feel ashamed that my ancestors were technologically superior with ships and guns and basically went around the world taking what they want from whomever they wanted to create the USA, build my current white privilege and make life easier for me. While it may not be according to Hoyle ‘right’ or moral – so what? Life ain’t fair and you aren’t entitled to anything more than what you have the power to take and / or keep from being taken – that is the way nature intended. You got some reason(s) why you think I should believe or feel differently, hell – I’m a fair guy, I’ll give you a listen. However, until someone convinces me otherwise, I like and am quite proud to be the lion to your bitch ass gazelle.

Thought for the Month of September, 2021: Sleepy Joe says his patience is wearing thin with anti-vaxxers? Fuck you Sleepy Joe. Only an idiot retard would trust the government with a rushed vaccine. Yes, if you got vaccinated – I say you made an illogical idiotic decision. You say it’s safe. Really? The hard fucking truth is – you don’t know and neither does anybody else. Maybe it’s safe – maybe it isn’t. I’m am sure women in the 50’s were also told its safe when they were prescribed and trustingly took thalidomide and produced a giant crop of flipper babies. So it’s not like we don’t have an incident we can point to right here in ‘Merica of the FDA and doctors fucking up. Only a complete retard would take any risk over a Kung Flu that has a 98% or higher probability of surviving (at least for those of us who deserve to survive). Who is refusing to get vaccinated possibly costing? Old fucks and other undesirables who don’t pack the genetic gear to survive. Not only do I have zero obligation to take any risk to help you, in fact, I’d pretty much like to see that group removed from existence. So if you want to get vaccinated by all means go ahead. I have no interest in imposing my beliefs on you or preventing you from being a retarded cunt but you aren’t going to impose your retarded cunt beliefs on me or force me to take your shitty vaccine. I will respond violently if you try. So take your vaccine and go fuck yourself with it.

Thought for the Month of August, 2021: Why do some people think white people should apologize and / or pay reparations for slavery? I mean it isn’t like black people freed themselves – white people had to do it for them. As I see it, black people owe white people a thank you or they’d likely still be slaves today. Also I really see no shame for white people in making the wrong choice to enslave black people – it is the natural way of things for groups to try and dominate others. The real shame should be felt by black people for allowing slavery to go on for generations not fighting back and being too weak of character to avoid or get out of slavery themselves (notable exceptions such as Nat Turner aside). They have done a good job of side stepping that shame by claiming black pride – really? What pride? That you endured? Hell, a fucking doorknob endures. The real shame was in choosing to stay alive rather than be free – poor dumb bastards.

Thought for the Month of July, 2021: Why is there no Nat Turner day? We celebrate Martin Luther the Kang day – we celebrate someone who did not possess the moral character to be a pastor because he cheated on his wife (all things being equal – that’s a trifling douchebag in my book)? But we do not celebrate Nat Turner – who made the right choice and rightfully and righteously kicked ass! Wanna put someone who is black on the $20 bill just because they are black, then put someone who deserves to be there – Nat Turner. It seems most black people are picking the wrong black people to be their heros!

Thought for the Month of June, 2021: In nature, the strong kill and eat the weak. Period. That’s it – no other rules. It is simple and it is fair. It is often not pretty but it is the natural order of things. I think most people subconsciously know this but prefer to live in denial about it, basically because it is ugly. We have created for ourselves a place where we think we are above nature and have substituted our own rules. But all we have really done is created a place where the brutality of nature is mostly hidden and where people can figuratively kill and eat each other in an ordered, civilized and most importantly – accepted way. Just look at how we fight our wars. We don’t go in and wipe the enemy out in a day. We certianly could so why not? Because it would be horrific. So we go in and kill a small amount of people over the course of years – that’s tolerable. It’s still the strong killing and eating the weak – just made prettier and not quite as savage. We preach love and peace and the benefits of ordered civilization all while stuffing the remains of a slaughtered cow transformed into the shape of a Big Mac into our fat hypocritical pie holes. This natural law of the strong eating the weak is in our faces in many forms virtually 24/7 yet we often disguise it – made to look pretty or at least tolerable, so we don’t have to deal with the reality of the nasty, brutish, shortness of it. You don’t have kill the cow or even see it butchered. All you see is a tasty burger. I’m not so sure the ‘benefits’ of being able to live a fat and somewhat happy life by deluding ourselves of our true nature and substituting our own made up laws based on made up things such as rights, fairness, justice and morality in lieu of just doing what you want and taking what you can is really worth it. I mean it likely works well for the weak – but me, I feel stifled, contained and what’s worse is I am my own enslaver. I allow myself to be stifled and contained. There is literally not a single thing stopping me from doing and taking whatever the fuck I want – except me. The problem is I can likely only do it once before being stopped. I have criticized black slaves for making the pussy choice of being alive rather than free but is my choice really significantly different. I do what is expected of me rather than what I want to do because of fear of going to jail, or losing my possessions or being killed – in short, I am choosing to be alive rather than free. We are basically all slaves its just now we are all our own overseers as well. I am fairly certain the trade off black slaves made in the form of handing over their freedom just to stay alive was a bad deal – I’d definitely rather die fighting and at least hopefully take a few of them out with me. I am not certain about this new deal I have made for the past 55 years. So what is different about the choice black slaves had and the choice I have today? I think it is the return on what you are giving up. Black slaves basically just go to live and that’s it – not a whole lot extra. I get a lot extra for my compliance! It does afford me the luxury of being able to produce this site and express my frustration – but the deal basically gives me just enough for me to continue to contain myself and not one bit more. I think I’ll go stuff some slaughtered chicken remains pressed in to the neat form of a ‘nugget’ into my face and continue to suppress the urge to take over and dominate the fucking world – at least until this new deal fails to give me enough for me to continue to contain myself because I promise you, the minute I don’t get the minimum I have bargained for, I will unleash my Joeness and let the fucking chips fall where they may. As nature intended.

Thought for the Month of May, 2021: Black people have asked how exactly white people were superior during slavery. I have the answer. We had ships and guns and better technology. You had mud huts and spears. That’s how. There is no question we were intellectually and technologically superior over all (not necessarily on an individual basis). Otherwise how could an over all physically white weaker race have enslaved black people? The answer to that next month.

Thought for the Month of April, 2021: There is no greater proof of a person’s stupidity than when someone asks “Why do you hold so tight to your association with loser traitors and slave owners? This retarded question of course refers to our love and admiration of our Confederate ancestors. The answer is of course, because they were our family and our families loved ones. To even think it an option to abandon or turn our backs on them as family regardless of their conduct or whether they were right or wrong demonstrates a level of stupidity and a lack of character, that is frankly – disgusting and repugnant.

Thought for the Month of March, 2021: I’m glad but confused as to why they took a few of the black faces off of food products like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben but left the white faces like Chef Boyardee and the Quaker Oats Guy? They have pushed so hard for inclusion now they wanna remove the few black faces on food products that there are? Whatever – works for me! I mean, personally while I don’t mind black faces on food products and the face on a product typically has no impact on whether I will buy the product or not, I do prefer to see white people on food products (or really on any product) anyway. You fucking cancel cunts finally got something right. Sweet! I wonder how long it will take before they realize they fucked up?

Thought for the month of February 2021: Differences that can’t be resolved by compromise should likely be resolved by physical combat or not resolved at all. This is the natural way of things. What separates us from the animals is – we usually attempt compromise first but when that fails – let us return to our natural proclivities instead of vilifying them.

Thought of the Month for the New Year January 2021: I really want to see the more undesirable fuckers in my country physically eliminated from existence. It is way past time for a second civil war. Let’s get to it and let the winning side take ALL this time. Violence does indeed solve problems sometimes. I mean if there’s a problem with a dick that you really hate and you kill him and don’t have to deal with him ever again – problem solved. Right?

Thought of the Month for December 2020: I wonder when (or more realistically – ‘if’) some niggers will stop acting the trifling fool and learn to act right so we can maybe consider stopping shooting them dead in the street on damn near a daily basis?

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Fuck you
Fuck you
2 years ago

Should change the website footer to say 40 years of being a fat, racist piece of shit. The only thing worse than your opinions is your comics. Do the world a favour.

Hey, ‘Fuck you’ we have something in common, you saw me comic, didn’t like it and said something – good for you because that’s what I do! I see triggered retarded cunts like you acting like entitled children, I fucking don’t like ’it and I say something. The difference between me and you is: 1) I don’t give a fuck what you think and I feel zero need to cancel you, silence you or otherwise dissuade you from your position (even though I could likely do all three) and 2) when I say something – I say it with style. When you say something, you say it with all the class and intelligence of a fucking monkey who has been sniffing his own ass for far too long. And learn how to spell ‘favor’.

Craig the carpenter
Craig the carpenter
2 years ago

You are god.

Vaginal Consumer
2 years ago

Hey.. I think you’re a pretty free spirited guy. The way you speak makes me chuckle. I like the way you talk, funny man.

Hunter Bright
Hunter Bright
1 year ago

i’m gonna let your grandson read this. hopefully he understands the word nigger like I do. Stupid idiots wanna cut your penis off these days and make believe it matters like a crazy cunt.niggers go cry me a river.

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